Forget about getting her a teddy bear or another World’s Best Mum mug, just get her some wine. Why?
1. She is exhausted (but she doesn’t know it yet)
She was exhausted, albeit quite happy and excited, during labour i.e. during your birth. She was also exhausted days after. She is still exhausted today but the exhaustion now comes from worrying about you now that you are old-ish. Help calm her nerves and get her a nice crisp Basidina from us. Shameless advertising I know but I didn’t name that wine after my mum for nothing. Mums love it. It was basically made for them.
2. She needs a drink. Really.
When was the last time your mum went out on a girls’ night out? There is a big possibility that her last real girls’ night out was before you were born. Are you feeling guilty yet? Don’t. Your mother loves you and she would rather spend time with you. But do her a favour and buy her some wine because we are quite sure she needs a drink.
3. Because diamonds are expensive
Yes, we know how sad it is not to be able to afford something but diamonds can wait. The next best thing is getting her a bottle of champagne or an estate wine she hasn’t tried.
4. She already has too many mugs
You probably gave her a mug when you were 7 and gave her another one the year after. She may have also acquired more mugs from friends over the years and they have taken over the whole kitchen. Put a stop to this madness and buy her wine.
5. She needs to relax because sometimes she can’t do that voluntarily
Mothers are hardwired to worry about their children and as a result they just cannot relax. We know our mothers aren’t complaining but this Mother’s Day, it’s time for you to force her to relax by making her drink a glass of wine.
6. It’s good for her heart
After all the trouble you’ve been in, the worrying probably took a bit of a toll on your mother’s heart. Give her something that is good for her heart. Hint: Wine
7. She needs a nice bottle of wine to go with that dinner you are planning to prepare for her
Because soda just won’t be a good fit.
8. Your dad will appreciate it
By virtue of your dad being your dad, he will likely eat most of the stuff you will prepare for your mum this Mother’s Day. And he will need something to wash it all down with. Think of it this way, you are hitting two birds with one bottle of wine. And your dad will thank you for it.
9. It will make her laugh
The people who drink our wine are always happy right after the first sip. It is strange but I have experienced a wine tasting where everybody is laughing at my jokes as if they are listening to comedy gold. If you are not naturally funny, get your mum some of my wine.
10. She will get a good night’s sleep
Refer to no. 5.
WARNING: Tell mummy to drink moderately.