Santa Claus is known around the world by children as old as 90 but unfortunately, this endearing fellow with his white beard and flaming red clothes has never been seen in any available chimney in places where those things are built.
While St. Nicholas existed, he is long gone but the toy dispenser extraordinaire based on the saint lives on.
Frank Baum asked, “Should we just let Santa die already?” I am unsure how anyone would answer this question but it did lead me to think of this: What if Santa Claus actually exists? What will the world be like if he does? And what would Christmas be like? In a world where Santa Claus exists, the following will likely happen:
Children Everywhere Will Be Nice To Everyone The Whole Year Round
Imagine a world without (child) bullies. Imagine having the kids race to the kitchen to do the dishes because it is a nice thing to do.
Children who are nice to everyone around them will receive a gift from Santa Claus and the ones who choose not to be nice will get coal and a visit from Krampus, the devilish anthropomorphic figure who punishes misbehaving children during Christmastime.
The North Pole Will Be On Social Media
Santa Claus will have his elves open a number of social media accounts and millions, if not billions, will follow these accounts within seconds of going live.
When it’s not too busy in the north pole, Santa himself will post his selfies or photos with the reindeers or his elves but most of the time, the elves will take care of these accounts -publishing anything from quotes about kindness and giving, to photos of newly-made toys.
The elves who take care of these accounts will be inundated with questions from children and adults alike. There will be an onslaught of requests online as well.
Letters To Santa Will No Longer Go Unanswered
We’ve seen a number of Dear Santa letters through the years but no one sent a reply. Well maybe someone did but it wasn’t Santa.
If Santa Claus exists he would likely answer them one by one –sending good cheer to anyone who took the time to write him a letter. He will also have his elves take note of each request just to be sure that those in his list will get what they wish for.
Santa And His Elves Will Get A Record Deal
The holidays won’t be the same without Christmas songs and the music industry will take this opportunity to sell more Christmas record. Our favorite Christmas songs will be sang by Santa Claus himself. While the elves will likely be his band mates, the reindeers will definitely be in every music video. At least one of these videos will go virhanks to millions of children who have Internet access.
There will be lighthearted interviews with every talk show in the planet and some very serious ones by news agencies asking the man in red what it is like to be Santa Claus during the holidays or the rest of the year. Krampus will be interviewed too and will likely be asked about his opinion about the mining industry.
Toys Will Be Donated By Corporate Sponsors
Santa’s toy factory will get a bit of rest thanks to toymakers from every corner of the world or at least the ones that have enough toys to give away. The move will be used as an advertising tactic and Santa will welcome this with an open heart and an open mind. He will have some elves verify the quality of the toys to ensure that children get safe toys though so all sponsors would have to donate months before Christmastime.
Santa Will Get A Number Of Volunteers Every Christmas
Because of the workload at Santa’s factory, volunteers will flock to the North Pole to help out. They will find out through social media of course thanks to the photos of elves accompanied with the caption “So tired.”
Some will travel to that part of the world to help out of the goodness of their hearts while others will go there with some sort of agenda. World leaders, especially the ones running for re-election, will go there with a media crew trailing behind, to ensure that each good deed is recorded for television. Priests and nuns will also offer their help – wrapping gifts, checking the list, etc.
Santa Claus And Krampus Will Work Together
Santa Claus and his crew will forward the naughty list to Krampus so that each child included on that list will get a brief visit from the latter. This visit will come with a lump of coal in their stockings of course.
Santa’s Office Will Have To Process All Necessary Documents To Enter The Airspace Of Every Nation On Earth
Where will he go first? Beijing? Paris? No one knows until he makes the announcement but it is very possible that this itinerary will start right where the toys are being made. His last stop will be at a restaurant in some obscure part of the world where he’d eat breakfast.
But it won’t be that easy. Because of the possibility of being shot down when entering airspace without permission, Santa’s office will have to process all necessary documents to ensure that such a thing doesn’t happen. Visa requirements will also be filed by Santa’s office while crossing their fingers that Santa and his reindeers won’t be denied entry.
Parents Will Be Clamoring For Their Kids To Be On The List
Even a man so loved by many will have problems later on as demands of gifts increase and parents try to influence Santa Claus on who will be on that ever important list.
There are 1.9 billion kids as of 2014. That’s a lot. But since not everyone celebrates Christmas, let’s just say only a billion kids belong to households that do reducing the numbers of prospective Santa-listers.
Santa’s List will be THE list to be on and parents would want their kids to be on that list. Some will bribe Santa’s elves while others will send gifts to Mrs. Claus just to get on Santa’s good side. The order of the day will be to get in touch with Santa starting late October – at least for the organized, helicopter parent types – to tell Santa and his crew that their child was (and still is) a good boy/girl on that particular year.
And if Santa doesn’t add the name of certain children on his list, he will be called a number of unpalatable names. On the first business day after Christmas, lawsuits will likely be filed. Some parents won’t do this of course but many of those who don’t will wish that Krampus is watching. And he will be.